ladylowkeyed:

vegetapsycho:

hecallsmehischild:

geekandmisandry:

onion-bagels:

sneater:

adurot:

This image hurts my brain more than the original debate ever did. Brains are dumb.

i wanted to like make sure this was legit and stuff so i took a section of the left and stretched it over to the right and jesus fuck

rb for the last pic being the best demonstration by far

“This is why I draw in black and white” was all my sleepy, horrified boyfriend could say.

Holy…. you know what… this last image is probably the only image that has ever been able to convince me this brain hack was a real thing and we didn’t all just roar onto the battlefield because half of us had been hideously duped… we were all duped. By our own brains.

This . This is why dfjkbhkm

(via rorleuaisen)

fozmeadows:

fozmeadows:

guy-who-exists:

crybaby learns how to swim - subtitled

ALWAYS REBLOG THE EGGSEAL

in times of trouble, eggseal comes to me

speaking words of wisdom:

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

egg

(via muchymozzarella)

nightingalesoul:

chaumas-deactivated20230115:

notwiselybuttoowell:

triviallytrue:

ghostpalmtechnique:

triviallytrue:

max1461:

triviallytrue:

friendshapedhole:

triviallytrue:

huffylemon:

aren’t gorillas gentle giants or something. i stay out of his way, he doesn’t maul me, we have a nice time picking out clothes together in opposite sides of the mall

Male gorillas are super aggressive and territorial. Also they interpret nearly every human mannerism as a sign of aggression or a challenge. Smiling and eye contact are both things that zookeepers have to be taught to suppress when they’re in the vicinity of gorillas.

Well unless the mall is his native territory I think I’m fine, I wasn’t planning on smiling at him

This is all irrelevant because the obvious answer is five black mambas. I mean, that’s not actually very many snakes, and malls are fucking huge. And unlike a gorilla you can definitely outrun a snake if it does show up. Find an open space in the mall where you can see any snake coming and just hangout out there. Fucking easy.

Misguided! I would much rather have a mallmate I can easily see and hear coming. I’m confident I can stay out of the gorilla’s way, but if I step on a snake or one otherwise gets the jump on me, it’s all over.

It’s not just about the physical danger either, it’s about my mental health. One gorilla, unless he’s actively mad at me, I just keep a healthy distance between us and make sure I never get trapped. With the snakes, it requires a lot more constant vigilance

They should substitute “chimpanzee” for “gorilla” in this hypothetical.

if it was a chimp i’m taking the fucking snakes

Black mambas have a reputation build on being very venomous and very fast. I’m not sure why you would think you could outrun one (or five) in an enclosed space like a mall.

Malls usually have pretty slick floors, and escalators. I’d choose the gorilla simply because I think that would make an more interesting story (and a better-selling autobiography, I Survived the Mall Gorilla) but I think I’d stand a pretty good chance at avoiding the mamba. They’re fast and aggressive and will chase you but unless we started immediately beside each other I think my sneakers would have the terrain advantage over scutes.

this is too good to leave hidden in the replies

I pick mambas, because you could close a door on them in a pinch and it would WORK (no mall door is going to stop a gorilla), plus since snakes are cold blooded, you could probably predict where they are after a while - under a big skylight for example? Or given a bit of time, in the bins outside eating some rats?

(via asteriuszenith)

moonsheen:

Over the course of my time there:

-A woman came in with a skirt made of neckties. Just. Neckties, all strung together to make a skirt. She had leggings on underneath, thank god.

-Been asked for the Mona Lisa

-Been asked for the Sistine Chapel

-Been asked where the dinosaurs are

-Been asked where the animals are

-Been asked for “The Bitch With The Pitcher” (Vermeer’s “Woman with a Water Pitcher,” by the way)

-Been asked for “The Girl With The Pearl Earring”

-Been asked for the Mona Lisa

-Got bored and learned the name of every single one of the Buddhas

-Got bored and learned the name of five Chinese dynasties (long day in Asian Art)

-Chilled in the Buddha room

-Watched someone escorted out for trying to take a nude photo in the Arms and Armor section

-Been asked for the Michelangelo’s, then the Raphael’s, then the Leonardo’s, then the Donatello’s (they were naming ninja turtles)

-Heard curator in Musical Instrument section play Night On Bald Mountain on giant historical pipe organ while laughing maniacally.

-Fielded a day when a filthy counterfit version of the museum program was disseminated among visitors, guiding them to the filthiest art in the museum – such as the painting of Cupid peeing on Venus

-guarded Cupid peeing on Venus

-Been asked for the Mona Lisa

-Been asked if I had seen the First Lady of Mexico (she had gone missing)

-Been asked for that one sculpture of Kronos that is featured in Percy Jackson WHICH DOESN’T EXIST GUYS (directed children to sculptures of Poseidon with trident instead, children were very happy)

-Witnessed two Secret Service Agents get into a swordfight with pieces of packing material.

-been asked by a very polite Fransiscan monk in full brown robes if he had found ‘One of us. He has gone missing.”

-Found missing monk and returned him to the herd

-Coworker was asked for the Ark of the Convenant

-Same coworker was asked for the Baseball Hall of Fame

-stopped about 15,000 people from poking that one lion statue in the nuts

-saw a woman in a banana suit with banana shoes take a picture in front of an Egyptian temple

-Been asked for the Mona Lisas (plural) 

I’ve got more but this is what I remember for now.

(via hopefulqueer)

atepa09:

alexseanchai:

rumze:

notajerusalemcricket:

alexaloraetheris:

jaubaius:

Changeover🔊

First, you think the bird is a fool.

They you realize the bird is smarter than you and actually checked first.

Source: Mehdi Alibeygi

@todaysbird

huh, the full video is almost two minutes long, and what got cut was entirely title and credits:

Reblog for the full length one… because you know heaven forbid people credit artists for their hard work that made us laugh or smile.

(via sharkbeneaththelotus)

scarlet-rosepetals:

shakuras3nder:

perfectcromulence:

apinklion01:

the-real-numbers:

sneakyspades:

sneakyspades:

bogleech:

lol

hold on gotta look somehing up

[[ Transmission of image ]]

Three pictures are displayed. The first is a picture with a Magic the Gathering card and a circular piece of wood. The card has a circular piece taken out. The text reads as the following:

D&D players, here’s a great way to turn your old Magic cards into tokens in case you don’t have any minis.

The second is a reaction meme with Skipper from the Penguins of Madagascar TV show.

The third is a screenshot showing the value of the Magic the Gathering card from the first picture. At TCGplayer.com the card, a Black Lotus, is shows at the value of $42,000.

[[ end of transmission ]]

After reblogging this post an hour or so ago I wised up and realized there’s no reason to make a game token for a blue flower. To demonstrate the utility of this craft technique, you’d use an orc or an elf or something like that. The first image above has got to be a photoshop. Here’s the original image:

I hope I keep seeing iterations of this post with new additions of “actually that’s photoshopped, THIS is the real image” with an increasing number of wildly expensive Magic cards.

(via asteriuszenith)

tehnakki:

derinthescarletpescatarian:

theriu:

space-mouse:

space-mouse:

let’s make a feldspar :D

Sodium (Na)

Calcium (Ca)

Potassium (K)

See Results

depending how much sodium, potassium, and/or calcium is available, you can get different feldspars! labradorite is my favorite.

remember: stay OUT of the miscibility gap.

there are NO FELDSPARS in the gap. you can’t fit that much calcium and potassium in one feldspar. it’s not done.

ALT

with six days remaining, i have made a helpful guide. i have faith in you all.

GUYS WE NEED MORE SODIUM WE’RE STUCK IN THE GAP

No other website uses polls like this.

Fuuuckkk, we’re at 38, 32, 30. Lean hard into the Sodium folks!! We’re gonna be stuck in the Miscibility gap if we keep letting Calcium and Potassium pull our focus!

(via sharkbeneaththelotus)

the-real-seebs:

gamer-crow:

foxes-and-moths:

post-it-free:

foxes-and-moths:

female-malice:

fakeosphere:

hillbillyhellscapes:

only-tiktoks:

WHAT AN ABSOLUTE QUEEN FOR THIS

a tutorial on rescuing someone from an uncomfortable or dangerous situation

Damn. She did everything right. Yes, this is dangerous. But even a violent man is still human and can be outplayed. Predators rely on a pattern or routine. Disrupt the routine, and the predator freezes up. Once you disrupt them, don’t give them time to develop a response. Be bold. Be decisive. Talk loud. Act fast.

How should I approach this as a man? I wouldn’t want to make her more uncomfortable but I also wouldn’t be able to physically intimidate anyone because I’m short and un-athletic.

Talking to the woman is going to be hit or miss, just because she won’t know if you are an “out if the frying pan, into the fire” situation. BUT, you could still go with “thanks for waiting, you ready to go? Oh, who’s this?” And if she walks with you, you can say that she looked uncomfortable. I had a guy once ask if I could help with his phone to get me away from a conversation. OR: talk to the dude. “Hey man, can you give me directions to this place? Don’t I know you from somewhere?” Etc. Then she has time to escape. There are no set in stone answers, even if you don’t handle it perfect, if she gets out of the situation safely, count it as a win

Thank you for the response!!

Talking to the dude works!

One of my colleagues spotted a woman facing slightly away from a man who was talking to her, who was scary close. She looked uncomfortable and made eye contact. He noticed the guy was wearing a Broncos jacket and nonchalantly passed them both by and started the sports speak to the dude, like “aw bro did you see the defense last night? Hell of a time to he a Bronco fan, right?” And stood slightly behind the guy so he had to turn away from the woman. She said a cheeky “I’m not into sports, g'night!” comment and slipped away to the elevator. The dude looked super pissed but just stalked away to his car.

What was he supposed to do, admit to bad intentions?

Sometimes you don’t need to be the savior, but a distraction.

$dayjob had some training videos a while back on various topics like discrimination, hostile workplace environment, and so on, and they were okay, I guess. But then they had an entire section on “so if you see someone apparently being harassed, and you don’t feel safe directly confronting this, here’s things you can do that will disrupt the situation and give someone an out”. This includes: * Physically place yourself between people for some unrelated reason, like, “hang on I just need to get something from this shelf” or something like that. * Knock something over or otherwise create an Exciting Situation that can involve people or give you a chance to ask someone to help or be involved. * Things like “hey did you have the blue [car model]? because when i came in i thought its lights were on” that might make someone leave. * Striking up a conversation with one or the other of them. And they had acted-out examples of things like this as illustrations. And I mostly knew this, but it’s really useful to have this kind of thing in the training so everyone knows about this stuff.

(via rorleuaisen)

ironwoman359:

agave:

hey do me a favor and reblog this but don’t vote on it

ok i will not vote

hehehe i’m going to be a little scamp and vote anyway!

woo hoo hehe

See Results

*grits teeth* I am going to get a GOOD GRADE in polls, which is something NORMAL to want and POSSIBLE to achieve even if no one else is following directions I WILL NOT SUCCUMB to my desire to vote and see the results I will WAIT FIVE MORE DAYS and then I will have Won Polls.

(via rorleuaisen)

verysorrytobother:

stagemanagerssaygo:

autumnthejokerat:

jaubaius:

Creative & DIY

SO THAT’S HOW THEY FUCKING DO IT

Reblogging this because my entire life, all of my bows have looked like my shoelaces. Wrapping presents is going to be so much more aesthetically pleasing now

(via rorleuaisen)